We have been so cared for over the past couple of weeks- i am almost embarassed by the amount of care people are giving me and yet at the same time I am completely grateful and don’t think I would have made it without the help. Over the past few days alone, we have had a lady from church come over on Monday and read and play with the girls for an hour and then keet Cord for almost two hours while I took the girls to dance. Today, another friend invited the girls to the pool for two and a half hours while Cord and Lucy (and momma) napped. Another family brought us dinner- homemade by their teenage son. It was delicious! And there are many more examples coming up over the next couple of days. SOOO humbling.
This care for us has given me some time to grow into my new situation. You would think the baby would be the one kicking my tail- somehow, that is not the case. The baby has been sweet and predictable. My growing pains are coming from my one year old. I love him to pieces. but my struggle has been how to love him when he is so challenging. He just gained a sister and parents who now must be shared, he is getting 4 teeth right now, and he wants to be able to communicate his frustrations- he can’t, so he screams and grunts and cries alot. Being alone with all 4 kids has been intimidating- At times I hope I can handle what he “throws” at me that day. Partly it is that I don’t know what I can expect. Will it be easy that day or will it be filled with crying? The not knowing is worse than the real thing when it happens.
I write all that to say that I have seen some hope over the past couple of days. I feel my fears subsiding and my joy returning about him. I feel like I am understanding him a little more and am less worried about my days with him. Today I loved his laugh, played lots of ball with him, and actually got to hold him for awhile (hard to do for a busy 1 year old!) I thank all those that have helped us for giving me the time to get settled with all my children and for loving us well. You may think it was just a meal or a little playdate- but to me, it was time to learn and grow! many thanks!