We ended up making it to the inducement date- So tomorrow morning we will head to Huntsville Hospital. We have to be there by 5 am. This is the fourth time that I have been induced, and each time I think that the night before is so strange. I know that in the next 12 hours our life will be completely different. My head always starts swimming about this time as I ponder what kind of job I do as a mom of the ones that I have already-much less adding another one to the mix. So as the pattern goes, I had that night Friday night. The magnitude of the weight of what I am doing hit me. The responsibility to each child to parent him or her well- My desire to love them and encourage them compared to my sinfulness and my finiteness. How will they ever grow up all those years in our house and not need major counseling? These are the thoughts that swarm me the nights before we have the next one. And if someone else told me these things, I would remind them of our Father’s great love for us and His great love for their children. I would remind them that a home filled with grace is not sin free, but rather one filled with repentance as all those sinners live under one roof. I would remind them that it is a blessing that their children see that parents need a Savior too. And mostly I would remind them that our God provides for all our needs and in our weakness, He is strong- He will receive more glory in our weakness. It is so obvious to me when it is someone else’s fears- May I remember that it is true of mine as well!
In the morning June 2, 2008